Life isn't rightly kind these days. Mum is aging quickly, and should be! She isn't as spry as she used to be. She trembles, and falls. She can't walk unassisted, or even assisted for that matter. Can't take a bath alone, can't change her clothes - let alone go to the potty by herself. Life .....
Is this what I have to look forward to?
When we were children, just hatched, we needed help. Our parents did just that. They loved us, nurtured us, helped us up when we needed help. They fed us, bathed and dressed us.
My sister is doing all she can to help Mum. She is her caregiver 24/7. I wish I lived closer so I could give her relief.
We inquired as to help. It seems that unless she has doctor, who is in a clinic, that will claim her as a patient, there is no help to be given via Medicare/Medicaid. There is Senior services, who said - they would need to place her in a nursing home. Because they won't come out and just help in home. All my sister wants and needs is a break, without fear.
Mum tithes to her church $180 a month. My sister called them once to see if someone in the church could come and sit with Mum for a while so my sister could have a break. The church never called her back -- oh wait! they did call, two weeks later. The CHURCH -- the Christian CHURCH my mum belongs to can't assist when you are old and failing - but if your late with your tithe, they will be giving you a call for sure.
It was shared once, by a child, Its all about my mother! SHE can take care of gramma - she doesn't need a break. My mother is so selfish and only thinks of herself. (as her mother just finished changing her own mothers diaper, and helped her back to her chair - this task took almost an hour -- getting ready for bed takes that long as well. Getting to the table to eat perhaps 15 minutes. See mother can't do anything for herself anymore)
Funny -- Watching how my sister worked with my mum the last time I was down - I beg to differ. I would like to see the child work with an aging senior, who was once vibrant and strong, now as frail as a brittle leaf waiting to be crushed under the heavy boot of fall, do exactly what my sister is doing without some relief.
I know the new mothers in the world, have babies, and can get baby sitters - who wouldn't want to hold and cuddle a little one - watch them smile. The daughters and sons of the elderly are hard pressed to find anyone to come and elderly sit without costing a small fortune.
I am saddened by all this, and a bit fearful. I have a wonderful partner now. I know that he wont let me be alone. But what if he goes first? Its all about who crosses the finish line first ya know.
The father of my children is selfish - is whole family is for that matter. His grandmother passed away, alone - and it wasn't until 2 days later that anyone knew. It certainly wasn't a discovery that they family made - it was the postman who looked in and saw her laying there on the floor. Sad -- how her family, her son, her daughter, her grandsons lived but 5 minutes away. Not checking on Grandmother daily is a shame -- a downright shame.
and SHAME ON YOU "THE CHILD" FOR SAYING THAT YOUR MOTHER IS SELFISH
That is a fear of mine - being alone when I die. Without my people about me. I know you come in to this world alone, yet you are greeted by your parents. Cannot we all have assistance in leaving this world too? Cannot we have our people -- the ones we love -- about us?
They say it takes a village to raise a child - does it not take a village to help a senior?
I love you Mama -- I pray and think about you daily -- and I pray that my sister finds help in caring for you.