I don't remember things like I used to. I forget. What's with that anyway? I forget my right hand from my left. I can't speak in fluent sentences. I get confused easily. Some days I can't stay on task, other's are stellar. I go downstairs to get something, by the time I get there I can't remember what it was I went down to get.
Is this a sign of old age? Of loosing the memory you thought you had?
I go driving with my daughter, as she practices her parking. Do I not pay enough attention as to how she is doing it, cause when she ask's what should I do now, I cannot answer. I don't remember -- but I remember enough to write this down.
Am I in the first stages of dementia? Or am I just becoming scattered, and not so organized. For just as soon as I get Organized, and I get a system going - I am interrupted for a week or two. Then I have to start all over again.
Honestly -- this scares me.
Am I becoming a bit challenged? or is there not enough to challenge me. Is it that I am overwhelmed somedays with the amount of stuff that surrounds me?
Feng Shui -- you know that environment art that helps you keep things on task - and things free flowing. Could it be that I have too much physical stuff in my space and that I should clear some of it out? To keep my thoughts not so cluttered? Come to think of it - I do function better in an environment that is rather uncluttered - not so much sterile - but everything in its place.
I go into the area that I call my studio - and I become rather dismayed that everything is not in order, as it used to be. I look into the space that is my son's and I see the clutter because he doesn't come around much anymore. Perhaps he would come around if the area was inviting and welcoming? I guess I need to take care of things down there. Move things around a bit.
Things to think about, things to do -- meanwhile - I suppose I should keep a diary. Cause somehow it doesn't feel quite right, my memory. I remember one time, a doctor prescribed anti depressants for me because I was going thru a really rocky time. Citalopram, and I only took 10 mg a day for about 6 months. I never really noticed a change in my mood or behavior, but an acquaintance told me that when he took the Citalopram, he started loosing his short term memory - and that it was hard for him to focus, he couldn't read books like he once was able to, because he would be easily distracted. To this day he still has these issues, and he has been off the drug for years. Could that be the case with me? Although, I have always had issues reading books cause I am easily distracted - always have been, always will be :) that is just me.