Edgars Wench
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6/17/2013

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How do I feel when I, as a bookkeeper, work for my EX husband.
My stomach gets tight
the muscles in my throat get tight
and I feel much like a small and insignificant person that he always made me feel when we were married.

My heart beats really quick
my breathing is rather shallow
I feel a heavy weight on my chest

I believe that I might be having some kind of panic or anxiety attack.

I was asked once, why do you still do this.
Why do you still work for Neil.
I respond, cause then I can make sure that he pays the child support - spousal support.  It is all centered around his obligations to me and what I feel he owes me.  But,  Have I broken free of the painful marriage?

I am thinkin -- not so much

Think that I should break free - think that I need to have a conversation with my partner.  Think I need to create more art and not pay mind to can he or can he not pay the support.  


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