My stomach gets tight
the muscles in my throat get tight
and I feel much like a small and insignificant person that he always made me feel when we were married.
My heart beats really quick
my breathing is rather shallow
I feel a heavy weight on my chest
I believe that I might be having some kind of panic or anxiety attack.
I was asked once, why do you still do this.
Why do you still work for Neil.
I respond, cause then I can make sure that he pays the child support - spousal support. It is all centered around his obligations to me and what I feel he owes me. But, Have I broken free of the painful marriage?
I am thinkin -- not so much
Think that I should break free - think that I need to have a conversation with my partner. Think I need to create more art and not pay mind to can he or can he not pay the support.